I am a professional baker.

Yes, that's right. Professional.

It was an absolute baking spree this morning. I did a toffee bar for my dad's family's Christmas. It's one of about ten kinds of cookies my Grandma used to make every year. And they're good. I also did Millionaire's Shortbread via Bake and Shake's fantastic blog. They're cooling in the fridge as we speak. The chocolate on mine turned out not as shiny and gorgeous as hers, but I am quite hopeful that they will still taste as good as hers look. Cuz they're full of caramel. And there's a couple sticks of butter in there. So yeah. They should be alright. Seriously though, between the two baking feats I managed today, I went through 5, yes 5(!) sticks of butter. Nice. And I will have you know, I did it all with my $5.97 (gasp!) Wal-Mart hand mixer. So yes, I'll say it again. Professional. Watch out Martha, you have been warned...

Now bring on the stretchy pants!